It’s Not Personal
by Self Development Expert Sharmen Lane

You’ve probably heard of the book The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a great read and I highly recommend it. One of the agreements, and the most difficult in my humble opinion, is Don’t Take Anything Personally. Easier said than done, yes, but possible nonetheless.

Take a look at how often each and every day you take something personally. Someone cuts you off while driving. Does that have anything to do with you? NO! Someone is rude to you on the phone, does that have anything to do with you…NO!

How easy is it to get offended by someone or something these days? If you think about it, we could find lots of things to take personally or take offense to every minute of every day if we wanted to. Recently, I received a phone call from a person who was driving and was cut off by someone else on the road. My friend was so irritated by other driver who had cut him off as if he had done something wrong.

I asked my friend, “Why do you think this person did this to you? His answer was, “I don't know I guess he was just looking to put me in a bad mood. I chuckled and said, “Do you really think it had anything at all to do with you?” He said “Yes. I'm the person he cut off and then proceeded to flip off as if I was doing something wrong. It had everything to do with me!!!” I said “I understand, but why do you think he chose you to do this too. He said I don't know, what's your point? I responded with, I find it interesting that you think because it happened to you that it was about you?

Things are going to happen to us no matter what. The check out lady at the grocery store will be rude, the guy at the newsstand will say something condescending, customer service at the phone company will be short and snappy, the server at a restaurant will roll his eyes when you ask a question about the menu. BUT, if you think about it in the end none of it has anything to do with you.

So ask yourself this question every time you find yourself getting upset or worked up over something someone says or does, “Is this about me?” or “Does this really have anything to do with me?” Chances are the answer is no, so you can put it in a bubble and blow it away. Remember, things other people say and do… It’s not personal.

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